Top 8 Signs You Have a Toxic Boss (And how to navigate or leave the situation)

You might be feeling like your boss doesn’t respect you, value your work, or appreciate what you’re contributing.  Which only leaves you feeling unmotivated, discouraged, and burnout. 

Trust me, I know the feeling, waking up dreading interacting with your boss and thinking, “I hate this job,” or “I hate my boss.”  I know that might sound harsh, but having a toxic boss or working in a toxic work environment takes its toll on you.

The sad truth is more people are experiencing this than you realize.  According to a Monster poll, 76% of workers said they have a toxic boss or had one in the past.

So, let’s review how this impacts your life so you can decide if it’s time to make a change, the top 8 signs and behaviors to look out for, and how to handle or leave the situation.

The Impact of having a Toxic Boss

You might be spending so much energy trying to navigate the situation you’re in, that you don’t realize how much this is impacting your life!

Having a toxic boss can negatively impact your:

·        Mental & physical health (immune system, depression, anxiety)

·        Work performance

·        Motivation

·        Productivity

·        Confidence (doubting their abilities or accomplishments)

·        Creativity & innovation

·        Being too scared to speak up or ask for help; and

·        Professional growth

 Top 8 Signs of a Toxic Boss

1 Your Boss Doesn’t Support Your Professional Development

A strong leader encourages employees and helps them thrive in their roles.  They create an atmosphere of trust, respect, flexibility for creativity, and supporting their employee’s professional development. 

Toxic managers are more focused on themselves, their projects, career, and success.  Which only leaves employees feeling unvalued, underappreciated, and unsupported.

Signs a boss doesn’t support you:

·        They don’t meet with you, listen, or ask for your input

·        They don’t advocate for you when you deserve a raise or promotion

·        They don’t provide opportunities for your professional growth

·        They don’t provide the resources you need to be successful

2 Your Boss is a Micromanager

A micromanager has to be involved in everything!  Leaders should understand their team’s work, provide guidance and feedback.  But when managers overanalyze and micromanage every project, it prevents employees from doing their job.

Employees want to feel trusted and respected.  However, micromanaging makes employees doubt their expertise and confidence.  

Signs of a micromanager:

·        Not delegating responsibilities to the team

·        They look at every detail rather than focusing on the bigger perspective

·        They don’t encourage independent decision-making

3 Your Boss is Passive-Aggressive

Passive aggressive behavior is hard to deal with because it lacks direct communication. 

Passive aggressive managers will often not deal with situations head on.  Which leaves employees feeling confused and second-guessing themselves.

Signs a boss is passive-aggressive:

·        Backhanded compliments

·        Dismissive behavior

·        Passing you off to someone else

·        Agreeable to you, then backstabs you in front of others 

·        Providing vague feedback or direction

·        Nonverbal dismissive behaviors (eyerolling, ignoring you, etc.)

·        Sarcasm

4 You Boss Plays Favorites

Unfortunately, sometimes it’s clear your boss has favorites.  This can make you feel left out, unsupported, and not able to do your job fully. 

Signs a boss play favorites:

·        They give preferential treatment to certain employees by:

o   Assigning desired tasks

o   Double Standards

o   Giving more appreciation/praise

o   Only getting input/feedback from certain individuals.

o   Being more flexible with absences, tardiness, vacations

5 Your Boss is harassing you or you’re being discriminated against

Psychological or verbal harassment are the most common types of harassment and some of this may also be illegal. 

Signs of harassment can include:

·        Microaggressions

·        Sexual Harassment

·        Stereotypes

·        Offensive language (discriminatory)

·        Inappropriate comments

6 Your Boss Blames Others for Their Mistakes or Gaslight You

Mistakes happen, and a strong leader, can accept responsibility and acknowledge their mistakes. 

A toxic manager, blames others, deflects, and doesn’t take accountability.  This lack of accountability shows employees managers are exempt from owning up to their mistakes and encourages employees to demonstrate the same behavior.

Another form of blame includes gaslighting.  PsychologyToday describes gaslighting as “Giving false information that leads people to question what they know to be true, often about themselves.” 

Gaslighting and Blame can include:

·        Blaming others for mistakes or choices

·        Saying, “I never said that, or “You’re too emotional,” or “That never happened.”

7 Your Boss Sets Unrealistic Expectations & No Work/life Balance

Your manager might be setting you up for failure by having unrealistic expectations about your role. 

This can include expecting you to work all hours of the day and night. They may also be expecting perfection without room for improvement.   Which leaves employees feeling overworked and burnout, which doesn’t help anyone! 

Signs a boss sets unrealistic expectations:

·        Not respecting your paid time off

·        No work/life balance

·        Reaching out outside of “normal business hours” (all hours of the day, night & weekends).

·        Expecting perfection without opportunities for improvement

8 Your Boss Doesn’t Treat You with Respect or Show Appreciation

Everyone wants to be acknowledged and recognized for their hard work and not be disrespected! 

Toxic managers however, try to pass off their duties to their employees, don’t give credit or recognition, and don’t treat their employees with respect.  This leaves employees feeling unappreciated and lowers their confidence.

Signs your boss doesn’t treat you with respect or appreciation:

·        Taking credit for your work

·        Not sharing appreciation or praise (Both privately and publicly)

·        Gossiping or talk about you behind your back

·        They undermine your authority

·        They expect you to do their job

·        They interrupt you at meetings or speak down to you

·        They don’t acknowledge your expertise or contributions

How to Handle Toxic Work Situations & Make a Change

 1.   Have conversations with your boss.

 Discuss your concerns or ways you can both better communicate regarding the different toxic situations, how it impacts you & your job performance, and offer solutions.

 2.   Continue to show up and act with integrity.

 I know this one seems hard, but don’t stoop to a toxic level.

 3.   Lean on Your Network for Support

 Working for a toxic boss can be draining so let your support system know you need extra encouragement and emotional support. 

 4.   Put everything in Writing

Keep track of all your interactions with your boss and start documenting everything. Track projects through email and follow up with notes from conversations after meetings.

This will help protect yourself if your boss is vague on a project or they have a tendency to “forget.”

Document conversations, so you understand their expectations, ask for clarity, and to protect yourself.  This documentation will be helpful if they also try to come back to you on something they never said to you or if they try to give you negative feedback from something they never told you about.

 5.   Start Your Exit Strategy

If you’ve tried to cope or handle the situation, you might realize your toxic boss likely won’t change.  Trust yourself and know when it’s time to decide what you want next for your career and when to start looking for a new job.

Looking for another job might seem daunting but working for a toxic boss isn’t worth the toll it takes on your health, relationships, and overall wellbeing. 

Start working on your job search strategy, update your resume, and brush up on your interview skills, because there’s another great job out there.

Final Thoughts

We often talk ourselves out of how toxic our boss is because we need the job.  I know it’s not an easy situation to navigate or to decide to leave, but I hope you feel empowered to make a choice for yourself!  

Because, you deserve to live a life that fulfills you and not be at a job that leaves you feeling unsettled and unappreciated! And, if you’re in a manager position, reflect on your leadership style, brush up on your management skills, and make sure you’re not falling into the trap of being a toxic boss yourself.

You got this!

- MelodyJoy